If you know me at all, you know I love me some books....and I love the library. Since I was a child it has been one of my favorite places to be. It is quiet and the rustling sounds that other book lovers make as we gently make our way up and down the aisles is soothing....and then modern technology brought us the internet and computers in our beloved libraries...and it was good. Now, there were people busily doing research projects and emailing and blogging and a whole new world was opened up to even more people, because if they come for the computers, they are going to get interested in books, right......????

Dear Unsupervised, Teenage Library Patron,

I am so excited that your parents were able to drag themselves away from whatever chore they had going on long enough to drop you off here at our most precious resource. My hope, for you, is that you will fall in love with this wonderful place and hold it dear to your heart.

WT....???

Just in case you failed to notice, there is a sign right in front of you that asks all patrons to whisper so as not to interupt other users of the library. Really, it does, read it. So would you and your precious friend SHUT UP. Stop yelling back and forth across the library. There are those of us here that really do enjoy being peaceful.

Please stop talking back and forth across the computer kiosks. None of the rest of the computer using patrons want to hear your new facebook comments. We really, really don't.

Please pull up your pants and stop saying "Shit, man". I don't want to see your butt crack (and no one else does either). By the way, did you know that when a man in prison wears his pants down like that, it means he is "open" for bidness?

Please get up and go to the bathroom and blow your friggin' nose. Instead of sitting there snorting snot constantly. You may enjoy the taste, but the rest of us are just about to puke over here. The tissue is free, it's a public library, so you don't get charged for it.

To your parents, I wish you would have taught your children more respect for the gift of the library and taught them to have more respect for others around them. This is not your free baby-sitting service. You are not doing them or yourselves any favors by just letting them act this way. As far as I'm concerned, this is what's wrong with this country.

These are all things that I would have like to have said to these young people and their parents, but I couldn't because I was afraid that if I did, they might bust out a gun and shoot me in the head. Now isn't that a shame? Or follow me out to my car and beat me to death with their giant untied tennis shoes.

Thanks for letting me vent. I hope you guys have a great weekend.