Friday, December 12, 2008

Friday .......Fantasy Girl????

Guess what? I have done it. I broke down and went to a beauty shop today. Yes, I did. And I got me a spiral perm. Wow. I L.O.V.E. it. And what I will love even more is in two days, I can pull it back out of my eyes. Now, why can you not put your hair up for two whole days after a perm? And, do you think they could have made the solution stink any more? YIKES!!! And, just to go all out, hold on, cause it's a shocker, I had them do my unibrow. And make it into two seperate ones. She laid me back over the sink and proceeded to put this warm wonderful stuff around my eyebrow and then rubbed on it a little. Then she snatched that off and it felt like all my dagblasted skin came with it. Now, I got two big ole swollen up eyebrow areas. I hope that goes down by the time I have to sing Sunday.
See, I've decided to do the whole outside beautiful thing. Which is a hoot, cause ladies, I haven't worn serious makeup since 13 years ago before the first baby came along, and let's just say, I'm not as beautiful as I used to be. Oh, I know, it's inside that counts, but can't nobody see my guts, so I'm gonna have to conform and try to highlight brows and all other whatchawannacallits so I can get my outside to match my insides. Okay, the problem is, I don't have a stinking clue how to apply all the mish mash of stuff.
I went on down to the CVS after my perm today and bought $61.00 worth of beauty products. Dang, you can just about get plastic surgery for that much, can't you?
Did y'all know they selling eyelash curlers?? It's true, I saw it with my own two eyes. I tell you what, I don't know about you all, but I bought me one of them suckers cause I want to have beautifully long and lucious lashes for my honey to gaze into. And that's where the other problem comes in, how do you apply that mascara without sticking yourself in the dagblasted eye? Then I wind up with black smeared all under it and I can't go to church looking like DH punched me one. All the different colors and what not. I don't know how to pick. I'm cosmetically ignorant. And I fear that my attempts will make me look like a three year old playing in mama's lipstick. And if I find out whose been taking my picture through my bathroom winder, I'm gonna get even. I'm just sayin.

Oh well, we'll have to see what hubby has to say about it tomorrow when I get all shined up for a Christmas party we are going to.
Any tips and pointers are welcomed and will be tried.


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7 comments:

Jen - Queen of Poo said...

You sound like me a year or so ago. I started having babies 18 years ago, and outside beauty does tend to fall by the wayside when you're wiping bottoms and chins and up all night with sick or scared kids.

It's true that the inside is what counts, and no one's worth should be measured by outside appearances, but for whatever reason, God made us woman creatures who long for beauty, inside and out, and liking what we see when we look in the mirror affects our insides profoundly.

Did you know on youtube there are videos that show how to apply makeup from mascara to eyeliner to lipstick. All kinds of stuff! I've watched lots of them and learned all kinds of things. That's my tip. :-)

Laura Marchant said...

You are funny!
We needs pics of the hair :-)

kristina said...

o.k. you are super hillarious!
p.s. I stole some of your fun christmas songs, hope you don't mind!

Anonymous said...

For the record... we guys don't care if your eyelashes are super curly or not...

Just so you know.

Jen Sue Wild said...

I am laughing so hard!!

Ok I want to see pix!!

Lindsay-ann said...

I really enjoyed hearing about your day at the beauty shop. I hope you enjoy the Christmas party. Sorry I can't help with any tips or pointers I am in need of some myself!!!!
Have a lovely weekend.
Lindsay

CJ, The Purple Diva said...

You crack me up with your stories and descriptions! LOL!